upcoming meetings

Your Board of Appointees...inaction

The next Board of Appointees meeting is coming soon. Please join us (muted mics of course) as we discuss these very important topics:

• Conference updates:

  • Discuss new strategies to beat our record conference loss of $90,000 - we can do it if we try hard enough! We also need to brainstorm 3 more reasons why this won't be our fault! Let's be proactive!

  • Some concern about the rising number of scholarships we're offering to the conference. We think one is quite enough.

  • We still have a couple of scapegoat vacancies to fill. We are taking applications now.

• Membership update - We need updated numbers so we can act like our membership grows during a crisis. The increase is from changes in group memberships, but we'll act like they are individuals inspired by our crisis! How to lie with statistics, amirite?

• Ethics Committee updates - We are way short of our goal of 69 ethics complaints this month. We only had 17. We can do better, people!

• Elections Committee updates - We found at least 6 more ways someone "might" do something we don't like (we haven't told anyone yet except the Ethics Committee). Remember our CHEETOS motto - (Our Committee Has Election Enforcement Through Obscure Standards)!

• Treasurer updates

  • We attended an accounting seminar called "Discovering Default Judgements - How to Avoid Scrutiny While Managing Large Sums of Money."

  • We purchased this invaluable resource to help us manage the association's coffers (however much that is, we have no idea!).

• Technology Committee updates:

  • We uploaded this week's Code of Conduct updates to the website (it took forever), and we created direct links to the Ethics Complaint email address. This will make it easier to "direct file" complaints. We think this will really appeal to some of our members!

  • We are finally ready to introduce our new 'Find the Current President' website feature!

The meeting will be held via our online platform, Quibi. You can access the feed here. The meeting will be held at 3pm Eastern (that's 7 pm Central, 4 am Pacific and 12 pm Mountain for you folks in other parts of the world).

Remember to keep your video link active for our traditional opening Chubby Bunny Challenge. Here was our winner from last meeting.

To keep our meetings flowing smoothly, please keep our 5 meeting principles in mind:

1. No questions, only praise - Remind yourself you're just a volunteer, you don't deserve dissent. Take every opportunity to compliment another board member on their visionary leadership.

2. Mute is your friend - Don't let "speakers" hear one another.

3. Transparency is overrated - Avoid sharing any documents before the meeting (and delay the release of information afterwards). Surprise is the key to keeping our members on their toes!

4. Consensus is best achieved before the meeting - Sure we'll ask for input, but let's stand by the decisions we've already made.

5. Open floors are traps! If you open the floor for discussion, you open the door to disagreement. We cannot run effective meetings if there is disagreement.

Don't forget, Appointees: Keep your chin up!