All rights reserved. Something something something First Amendment. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. No animals were harmed. This website contains 99% satire. We sincerely hope the IACA leadership deems this content both inflammatory AND objectionable. That's the point. We're mostly kinda not advocating for the IACA's downfall, but they do make it so tempting. No reasonable reader should understand any content on this website as an assertion of fact. It's definitely fact-adjacent, though. Side effects may include uncontrollable laughter, existential dread, and questioning everything you thought you knew about crime analysis. Do not operate heavy machinery. Batteries not included. Void where prohibited. If you disagree with the content here, you're probably taking this too seriously (or you're part of the problem). Are you not entertained?